No Time to Talk, I’m Just Going to Workout!

Hypothetical Morning.

Goal: Get exercise while limiting interaction with the outside world.

Step o1. Wake up

Step 02. Drive car to the strip mall gym.

Step 03. Park car in large parking lot.

Step 04. Take escalator up to the gym.

Step 05. Exercise in sterile environment.

Step 06. Take escalator back to car.

Step 07. Drive to work.

Step 08: Park car in large parking lot.

Mission Accomplished!

What a life!



Add yours →

  1. i judge people who use the elevator at the school gym pretty hard

  2. Bo-ring. Well, lots of people exercise to get more dates. I mean, who can blame them? I just don’t agree with how they go about it. Here’s mine:

    Cue “This Is How We Do It:”

    Step 01: Wake up.
    Step 02: Eat something, get dressed.
    Step 03: Get on bike, start riding to work.
    Step 04: See cute person on bike. Smile and wave.
    Step 05: See another cute person on bike. Smile and wave.
    Step 06: Go up little incline, think about sexy calves getting sexier.
    Step 07: Stop at light. Drink from water bottle, sweat glistening on forehead. Yum.
    Step 08: Get to work, work the day away, then repeat steps 01-07 towards home.
    Step 09: Get home. Get on computer. Check missed connections.
    Step 10: “Ooooo! I got a bikey missed connection! From the cute person who waved!”
    Step 11: Reply to missed connection.
    Step 12: Go on date via bikes. Have a good time. Increase social/romantic capital by being seen in public: at a cute café, at a cute park, at a cute bar.
    Step 13: Observers take note.
    Step 14: Repeat steps 01-13 five days per week.

  3. Stuart Strickland July 8, 2010 — 20:38

    Step 03A. Board the shuttle van from the far reaches of the large parking lot to the foot of the escalator.

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